I am Good Enough
I am Good Enough
Had you told me 20 years ago when I graduated with my bachelor’s degree in Criminal Justice that I would go back to school at age 39 to become a Licensed Professional Counselor, I would have said “yeah, right!” The thought of even returning to school was not something I wanted to embrace. It hit that deep core inside of me that seemed to pop up more often than not, “I’m not good enough…(fill in the blank).” This particular moment the hot, fiery center of me screamed, “What in the world are you thinking? You are the emotional one, not the academic one. You are not good enough to pull this one off.”
I chose to ignore the self-doubt this time. After all, in the long run this wasn’t going to be about me. It was about the broken and hopeless who feel trapped and alone. I wanted so desperately to help marriages climb out of deep emotional hurts and resentments, which helped soothed my internal beast of not being good enough. So, I filled out the application to graduate school and waited for what I was sure would be the rejection letter.
Imagine how surprised I was when I open the letter from the university and saw the words, “Congratulations, you have been accepted into the Marriage and Family Therapy Master’s program!” That fiery pit from within set off all sorts of internal dialogue. Negative self-talk that I was going to have to deal with if I was going to be an effective helper. That was four years ago and now here I sit with the letters LPCA behind my name signifying that I am good enough.
I am actually more than “good enough.”
I am really great at sitting with those who are broken and hurting. Most people who are trying to muddle through pain and angst are desperately seeking someone to simply sit, listen, and relate. Brokenness responds to those who can enter into their world and experience their dark places with sincere, authentic empathy. I have been gifted the title of counselor because I am more than good enough, I am great at coming along side the broken and finding hope through the healing.
As far as that flaming furnace inside, which likes to cast doubt and fear over me, there are still moments it rages with intense heat. But through this process called therapy I have learned that I am the only one that has the power to extinguish that flame.
Today, I am good enough.